Love & Marriage

Mr Nice Guy is, if you hadn't understood this from previous posts, the one.
It's been over three months now, and I continue to build faith, trust and love in and for our relationship every single day. There is not one single day that he doesn't surprise me in a positive way. He's strong, intelligent, handsome, and has the patience of a god.
That last bit, by the way, is how one of my close friends explained to me why he'd lasted so long.
My father has taken to calling him 'son', my roommate/big brother of sorts thinks this guy is the best thing since sliced bread, and, well, I think pretty highly of him, too.
I have, as much as I hate to say it, disconnected myself from the local Baha'i community as of late.
Mr Nice Guy and I are talking about attending a Unitarian Universalist service, as he is Christian, and I am Baha'i. I need a community of faith, but I haven't found my comfort with the local Baha'i community, and it is not a group that Mr Nice Guy is able to relax with, either.
I want a marriage that is built on faith- shared faith. We don't have to believe in all of the same things, but, since we can pray together, I would like to be able to make a community of faith something we can both be a part of, rather than something we do as individuals. I want my family to have a spiritual bond, and for our faith to be something we can discuss openly and freely, and not feel divided about as my family did.
Mr Nice Guy and I are very happy together still, though I get the feeling that his family still hasn't quite gotten used to me. I think they're all amazing people, but I am, to say the least, not likely to ever 'fit in' to this family. That doesn't mean I adore them any less, but it is hard to wonder how long it may take them to feel about me the way I do about them. Then again, their family is already formed, it's theirs to protect and defend, theirs to allow people to join or not to. That's not something I've ever experienced, though I wish I had. I want so badly to have that close-knit relationship with a family, but there's simply no way to heal myself, my sister, my dad and my mother and then try to heal the family unit as a whole. That's not something I'm capable of, sadly. Little Sister and I are only just learning to interact with one another without allowing the habits, attitudes and tempraments of our parents to play a dividing role between us. Dad loves us both, but, regardless of fault, this family has a large canyon running through it, and my sister and I are likely going to be the only ones who are ever going to be able to even try to approach it without drowning or dragging someone else down to drown. It hurts.
Mr Nice Guy has one older sister who isn't terribly different than my younger sister, except that she was raised to love her family. His parents have been divorced for a few years now, though I'm not positive Mr Nice Guy has ever completely adapted to that. He has a hard time understanding how his mother could leave once the kids were raised and she'd gotten her degree. I can understand his hurt, but negative emotions aren't the most easily shared in his family, it seems. Both he and his dad have the most quiet, loving personalities, and both of them, it's easy to see, have a hard time not getting walked on. They both also have incredibly strong work ethics. Matt is slowly coming out of his shell, and, I think, I may be helping him in that department. He seems less and less afraid to allow other people to see his funny side that was so rarely open for viewing before recently. More and more, though, he will joke around with my dad and our rooommate (big brother again), and the occasional server at a restaraunt and the like. I'm so proud of him, and so amazed that someone so wonderful could love me.
After abuse and rape, disrespect, being treated poorly and used, divorced, after all the things I've been through, this man still sees something left in me worth his love.
I don't understand it, but I don't want anyone else.
I still talk to Madman- well, we text- from time to time. He's about to deploy. It bugs me, sometimes, that I can still understand what it was I saw in him. That bugs me, but by the same token, I understand why he is the person who was, from where I stood "at my level". It says water seeks it's own level, and, well, he's what I thought that level was. I was comfortable with the pain, the disrespect, the lack of understanding... Of course I was, it's what I know.
That doesn't mean I have to stay at that level.
I'm glad I got away from him. I'm surprised, honestly, that I didn't go back to him. He's told me he's there if I ever want him back... So many ex boyfriends have told me that... But I don't want to go back to that. I didn't mind having to spell out for him what I needed, but going through that, and being told that what I needed 'wasn't him' and, essentially, tough luck... That's just not something I'm okay with. I don't want to hurt like that anymore.
Mr Nice Guy is almost too good to me. He's the sweetest, most loving man I've ever known. He holds me when I cry, he's there for me even if he has no idea what to do- but being there is all I ever needed, anyway. He's given me the security that no man of chaos ever could. I don't know if he'll stay in or get out, I don't know if I'll be an Army wife forever, or how any of this will play out... But, even if I'm poor and clipping coupons to pay for dinner, he's the person I know will make me laugh as he sits next to me, helping me clip coupons. He's the man I want my children to be like.
I've found the one.
I am so grateful.