Fore!

Mr Nice Guy and I have been together four months today.
I continue to be more grateful for his presence in my life every single day.
He has more patience and understanding and compassion than anyone I have ever known.
Mother Theresa would have loved him.
I snap at him sometimes, but he doesn't push me away or let my frustration get to him. He is so good to me, and so sweet, and so loving, I just don't know how love can be this easy. He makes me laugh constantly (even and especially when I don't want to, the stubborn lil bugger) and hasn't yet made me feel alone or unloved, not even for a second. If I'm having a bad day and want to feel loved, I don't need to ask. All I have to do is reach out my hand, and his will take mine, and hold it for as long as I need him to.
I love him so much.

Work, well, is work. I'm simply putting up a shield because I need, badly, to believe that these people don't matter right now. I don't want this place to be my life anymore, so I am putting up walls. They can't change me, they can't hurt me. I just need to be an individual again. I am expendable to them, so they no longer matter to me. I am just going to focus on my writing and whatever happens in this place is simply periferal.

What I want to work on most right now is a written piece outlining who I am- just me, without all this Army crap involved. This is what I need to know, what I need tattooed on my mind on days I must trudge through all of this madness- who I am, who I want to be, who I will be. I need me.