The System Is Broken

I have been trying to get in to see a shrink for over three months. I finally got a phone call, and have one appointment at the end of this month, and another the end of next month. My leadership seems to think I'm just a waste of their time, resources and positions, and are treating me accordingly. Anger has become so prominent it seems always just below the surface my entire work day, and worse when I must deal with these "leaders". I am tired, I am angry, and I continue to feel more broken every day. I am scared of my temper, I am scared of facing this stress and all the stress with my family and roommate on top of it. I am scared that I will find myself losing control the next time I am told to do something that will have a negative impact on me or the next time I'm forced to listen to my boss take credit for something I did entirely on my own, when he and his counterpart were completely unreachable and/or unresponsive, and then listen to him talk about having gone home early the same day I was doing so much alone and without being able to reach him. I am tired. I am treated like I have done something wrong and must be cut from the group, and I am already struggling so much. Mr Nice Guy is the most stable part of my life and I could not be more grateful for the man who continues to hold my hand through it all, and be there for me every time I cry.
I try to focus on the positive- Mr Nice Guy and our dog, Sugar- but find myself overwhelmed and miserable as I struggle just to get my own business taken care of.