As I pack up my stuff to head to post, this new post, for the first time, I catch myself thinking that I can't wait for Bright Eyes and Angel Eyes to join me so our life can start.
It doesn't take me but a second to catch the inherent issue with this thought.
Our life is now.
This is the beginning of our life together.
He loves me, and I love him and his daughter very much. There's no waiting for it to begin.
The moment we first spoke again, as awkward and emotional and nervous as it was for both of us, that's when it began. That's when we realized how different this all was.
I have put together picture frames full of the pictures we took while I was in Underland, and have pictures of various combinations of the three of us taped into my work notebook, and several more slipped under the cover of the book, so I can pull them out and look at them any time I need a reminder of what it is I'm doing this for. I have two pictures taped underneath a spiritual quote I scrawled on the inside of my book one day.
I can stress and worry and be impatient all I want to and it will do no good- or I can choose to understand that the actions I take now will impact the life I have when Bright Eyes and Angel Eyes are here beside Tumbleweed and I, and smile, and work hard and do the best I can for these two special people who are already my family in my heart.
So, I will not wait anymore. Our life has already begun, so I must start behaving like that, starting now!
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