Expectations

I'm starting to get this suspicion that women who truly are ready for marriage are the ones who've stopped having expectations of their partner being considerate.
Or maybe my expectations are too high.
Or maybe my fear of being abandoned again is just that much worse than I thought.
The half-blooming relationship is still at half-bloomed, and I'm more and more unsure that it will bloom further, though the commitment part of it seems to have fizzled a bit since the initial jump.We're still talking, but I see him quite rarely, and, well, now I'm having doubts. He's got a teenage daughter, and says he doesn't want more children. Can I give up having children of my own? The tears in my eyes at this thought make me realize I am far less sure than I once was. He is far more established with more to lose if we get serious and things don't work out. He's adamant that he will not get divorced again, on which point we agree, but.... I feel like I'm trying to fit into his life, rather than figuring out how to build one together, and I'm less than sure that I'm okay with that. 
My barracks room, and, well, everything about being in the Army, is beginning to feel like my holding pen until I find a place in life that I can fit... I'm tired of feeling like I'm waiting.
I'd rather be a mom than a medic, and rather be a wife than a sergeant. This just isn't making me happy anymore. It's doing the total opposite. I'm finding myself depressed and/or angry more and more often lately, and seeing a level of complacency at work I never thought I'd feel.
I'm coasting, and I can't keep doing that.
If I was any other woman, with any other past, in this situation, I'd get knocked up by the first guy who treated me right, get married and get out of the Army. The tubal ligation my mother encouraged me to have "to keep from passing my problems on to my children" when I was just eighteen prevents this from happening. Having the section that connects your ovaries and womb tied cut and burnt to crap will keep you from getting pregnant, in case you were wondering. It works. The Army doctors will not do the surgery to reverse it without the records of the initial surgery, which the hospital no longer has. In Vitro fertilization can be done, but for reduced price rather than for free, as with other medical procedures in the Army.
Not that I have a guy around who would want to stick around that long in the first place.
I don't even understand half of what's happened lately.
The only person I could really see myself with for keeps at this point that wants anything to do with something serious with me is too many states away, and, well, I've screwed up that bridge enough. I couldn't ask him to move here, especially when I can't get a place of my own without getting married or growing two ranks overnight, and even marriage is, of course, a hard thing to think of when you have no idea when you'll see one another again, assuming I could be a part of a normal relationship without f'ing it to hell.
I feel alone, I feel empty, and I'm just not happy anymore.
I'm struggling. Again.