Out

Mr Nice Guy and I went to see Cowboys And Aliens the other night (great flick, by the way) and some things started rolling around in my head. I can't explain what the actual trigger was, only that I'm glad it happened.
At some point the 'who am I once I leave the Army' thought popped into my head.
I've decided recently that I want to get my degree in landscape architecture. Looking at it now, it is almost funny to me that it hadn't occurred to me before I heard the ad on the radio in T-town for an educational program of such a nature. I've always been fascinated by architecture in general, especially that which uses the structure's natural environment for materials and design influences, rather than fighting the environment around it. I remember being a child and looking at pictures of houses built in the 1960's that were this way, and thinking how revolutionary something like this would be- maybe not in those words, of course, but the emotions were dead-on.
So far as this Army gig goes, though, I am increasingly unhappy.
The Aid Station I have spent so much time and effort on has been, for all intensive purposes, taken from me. The two male nco's have excluded me on every level of operation and decision making possible, and I am completely left in the dark over and over. I was informed this morning that the big color guard trip I'd so been looking forward to is now restricted to nco's only- even though I've been to more practices than anyone, and have been more determined and dedicated than anyone else, even volunteering for the events that were after duty hours. I am promotable, but simply cannot make points and my promises of corporal have still been ignored.
I'm tired of this lifestyle, tired of being walked on every time I give myself to something, and tired of seeing my efforts demolished and forgotten. Getting pregnant is next to impossible for me and, short of a bad-conduct discharge, that would be my only foreseeable way out before early 2013. I'm tired of this, and I want out.
I want to leave the Army and work on my degree and not go through this any more.