I got off that plane, proud of my Private-Second-Class (Pv2) rank, and the determination that somehow kept me from giving up completely during training.
I was terrified when I saw Korea for the first time.
I was 22 years old, and had only begun to learn how to take responsibility for my own actions. I'd spent nearly a decade of my life being told that all I did, said and felt was out of my control, and nobody should consider me accountable. Nobody should punish me for the things I did- they weren't my fault. I was what I now know as 'terminally unique'. I would inevitably be the exception to every rule.
I had been drinking for more than 8 years by this point, had taken up both smoking and dipping tobacco, had nightmares more often than not, a temper that wouldn't quit, and a sense of loss that seemed to eat a whole through my very soul.
It's been 21 months since the day I got off that plane. I have been sober (with less than a handful of slips) for over a year, I can't remember the last time I smoked a cigarette, and dipping... just no! My temper is still underneath the surface, but that's a hell of an improvement over moment-by-moment.
I pray at least daily. I try not to swear- though that doesn't work out too well for me much of the time, I am about to declare as a member of the Baha'i faith, and I am generally much, much happier with who I am. I have let much of my past go, and the nightmares are much less common than they were even a few months ago.
I will leave Korea soon, and return to the place I was raised so many years ago- El Paso, Texas. This blog is dedicated to my travels and lessons along the way.
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