Now where did I read that...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Separation

Mr Nice Guy is, as I write this, on his way back to T-town for the next four days.
He and I have been attached at the hip since the day we met, so this will be weird for me- but hopefully not too rough.
I am the happiest I've ever been since I've been with him, and I truly believe that no separation can change that. Things don't always go off without a hitch between us- we definitely are on two different planets sometimes- but we never have to put effort into getting along or making things better when they get a little wobbly. He understands me, and does his best to show it. I talk to him a lot, which is funny to me, because I think a lot of it is stuff he already knows.
He explained to me the other day, though, that he's the 'silent jealous type'. He's shown no signs of passive-aggression or any type of anger, so I was completely clueless he'd ever gotten jealous at all. I'm very outgoing, though, and it doesn't surprise me too much that, as much as I talk to people and as many people as I know, that, at some point, this has bothered him. We need to go more in depth with it, so I can avoid him having to feel like that again, but I'm glad he told me. I love him, and don't want to ever do anything to hurt him.
I'm glad we have these days apart, in truth, because I need to get some time to look at things. I have no doubts about how I feel, but, the more spirituality and faith become part of our relationship, the more intimate it gets. I need to step back and look at how much I am willing to give him of that part of myself. It's something that's very important to me, and I want him to understand and participate in that part of my life- I don't think faith is a completely private matter, honestly- but my dream of praying with someone I love is as scary as it is real. I want that. It's overwhelming, though, and I want it to feel right. I don't want to rush this, no matter how certain I am.
It's a scary path we're walking, this growing thing.

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