When It All Falls Down Again

Trying to take care of Dad has become a sick and twisted and hopeless joke.
He doesn't understand why I need him to figure out which way he's going to be willing to go with this, never mind why it's so urgent. I'm getting questioned several times daily about this crap with him and he can't decide if he'll allow me to do what I have to do to help him. I'm trying to be patient, but with the other thousand or so things on my plate, by the time I head home from work, dealing with another situation is the last thing I want to do, never mind break everything down Barney style. Every other day he talks about moving somewhere so I don't have to take care of him, and the other days he wants to know when this will be taken care of. He's now making more than me, and, well, I've had it trying to explain all this to him.
I have a clinic to set up, and things are extremely stop-go with that, and that's frustrating beyond belief.
I am now getting nasty emails from friends and exes and people I thought understood where I was at and didn't.
G-dammit. Yes, I am healing. Nothing is for certain, nothing is stable, and everything feels like it's on it's frikking head right now. How does everything fall down all at once?
I still miss Danger every single day, I still cry over him, n now I have someone who's here when I need them, who I can lean on when things get dark, and who is going through dark times themselves.
Nothing will ever be good enough for this world sometimes, I swear.
People I thought I was friends with have turned their backs on me, and people who I thought had a clue, don't. I'm fed up, and I just want the world to go AWAY for a while. I'm hiding this weekend. The first full weekend in Oct is a 4day and I will be as gone as it comes that weekend. I'm done.