4Give Yo'Self!!!

Holding on to past habits- in the way I treat myself, my emotions, my beliefs, and all that ends up encompassing others via relationships- has been a major downfall for me.
I am an all-or-nothing person.
I've said this for years.
I've tried to change this for longer.
Why?
I'm not saying that ALL of my past habits were, by any means, healthy. If I thought these habits were healthy, well, I wouldn't be sober, amongst other accomplishments. (18 months sober yesterday!!!)
Bunny is going through some things, as am I.
Instead of judging myself, him, us and my/his/our feelings, just accepting it and letting it be is the goal.
Yep, he's at the tail end of a divorce. While he has an incredible grasp on the reasons, circumstances and cause-and-effect of it all, it's still a divorce. I see the hurt, I see the frustration, I see the changes.
I am dealing with Danger's death. I may be able to see, clearly, the grieving process I am experiencing, but, crap, the guy's gone. It's going to be hell for a little while.
So, do I think this is all a rebound for both of us? Pain seeking pain to avoid pain? A distraction? Let me get to the real question: Do I think we're two people distracting ourselves by getting involved with one another in a relationship that can only be doomed for failure?
Let me be honest:
I don't know.
I know I care about him, that he has some truly amazing qualities, and that he has the potential to be someone I keep in my life permanently. As a spouse one day, or as a friend for life, I don't know. I know he cares about me, listens, is there, and is a great friend. We are leaning on each other right now, and I don't regret it. It feels really good to have someone outside the situation to vent to, to lean on, to reach out to and for, and to be there for. If this is something that ends, then so be it. If this is to be the foundation to a future, good for us.
Both of us are all-or-nothing. We're both very aware of that. We've discussed our situations openly, with all the crazy, chaotic, overwhelming details included. We will not give this the label (and pressures) of a relationship until after all his papers are finalized. We will not consider marriage until January (soon, I know, but for two people who rush into everything, it's surprisingly reasonable). Lastly, children are something neither of us are ready for and, if we wind up getting married, after being married for five years, we will discuss what our thoughts and feelings are on pro-creation, adoption, etc., at that point.
This may not be what I would have put in an outline of my perfect relationship. I don't color inside the lines, so to speak, so this sort of relationship is unlikely at best. It is, however, incredibly reasonable and a lot more grounded than any situation I've been in. It has specific boundaries and we're both aware of what they are, in no uncertain terms.
Even if this isn't forever, this is a step in the right direction, and I'm proud of myself.