Home?

Yes, I suppose it is good to be home.
I'm back in a place where I know the customs, the language, what to expect of someone if I bump into them, or if they overhear me talking to myself.

I was wandering around Barnes & Noble bookstore, looking for books on India, and other things that might interest me, and a thought popped into my head that took me by surprise. Wouldn't it be nice, I thought, if we lived in a world where we could just up and move to any country we liked because it suited us best?

Then it struck me.

We do live in that world.


I have craved India my entire life. I was desperate, as a pre-teen to find something in the Hindu faith that I could relate to. I can't honestly say what it is that ever attracted me to this far-away land in the first place. I don't recall ever having neighbors or even friends, until the last couple years, that had any tie to this place. I don't recall ever seeing any particular show or movie that struck me with an idea that I might like this place. I can't place where or why or when this attraction began. All I know, is that I can't remember a time when this particular place didn't fascinate me.
The picture I've included is of my wedding day. In 2005, I was 19 years old, and I married the gentleman you can see in the background. While we've been divorced three years now, we are still friends. That dress that I'm wearing is a red silk sari, a traditional Indian dress, one I bought from the Hindu temple outside Salt Lake City, Utah. I also wore a bindi, which is the little decoration you can see on my forehead. They, as well as bangle-style bracelets, traditionally symbolized that a woman was married.
I bought three books on India itself tonight, as well as the Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu text. I am craving this place, and whatever experiences it may bring, like it is in my blood. I can't explain it. How can a place you've never visited feel like home? How can a place you know to be full of homeless people, crowded, poor, and so busy seem like it will be the one place you belong? It doesn't make any sense, but I know no other word to explain how I feel about this place than to say I absolutely crave it.