Mad VS Motivated

I stumbled across this article on Yes Means Yes via my lovely Google Reader account.
For those of you who are survivors of rape, particularly women, please understand that this article may trigger some memories or hard-to-handle emotions.

Within this article, the author quotes a message board's contents, and all incredibly deroggatory of the female gender. Okay, I can handle people who don't care for women. I deal with some of them on a daily basis. Bold-faced ignorance is easy to ignore because it has no basis.

Despite the ignorant attitudes depicted in this article, though, these are not ignorant people. They are educated, aware, experienced men who don't like society's current direction. I'm beyond irritated by the overall attitudes, but, well, what really pisses me off is that some of what's said has some sad basis in reality. 

Society in general has absorbed the sex-sells mentality. Alone, this would have it's problems. Combined with the fact that many women are still wrapped up in their bodies being the majority of their value, well, that's a huge problem. Is it any wonder that it takes an attractive woman to sell anything these days? Think I'm exaggerating? Look at the nearest billboard or magazine ad, and tell me I'm wrong. 

Here's another article that references some of what I'm going into here, also on Yes Means Yes. 

Women are raised submissive, afraid to say no, much less yell it. We- and there are exceptions- are raised differently than men. We have made advancements, but we are by no means on a totally level playing field yet. Exerpt:

Women are raised being told by parents, teachers, media, peers, and all surrounding social strata that:

it is not okay to set solid and distinct boundaries and reinforce them immediately and dramatically when crossed (“mean bitch”)
it is not okay to appear distraught or emotional (“crazy bitch”)
it is not okay to make personal decisions that the adults or other peers in your life do not agree with, and it is not okay to refuse to explain those decisions to others (“stuck-up bitch”)
it is not okay to refuse to agree with somebody, over and over and over again (“angry bitch”)
it is not okay to have (or express) conflicted, fluid, or experimental feelings about yourself, your body, your sexuality, your desires, and your needs (“bitch got daddy issues”)
it is not okay to use your physical strength (if you have it) to set physical boundaries (“dyke bitch”)
it is not okay to raise your voice (“shrill bitch”)
it is not okay to completely and utterly shut down somebody who obviously likes you (“mean dyke/frigid bitch”)
If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.


It's wrong for us to expect something from women that we tell them not to do. That's right, WE. Every adult is responsible for the next generation. If I come in contact with a younger woman, and fail to do what I can to give her an example of a strong woman, or help her become one herself if I can, I have failed her. 

While I really expected that first article, where men- I apologize, people- are saying things like this:

Basically a walking talking lubricated hole. Congratulations girls, that is how you are viewed, and only you can change it.
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And this is the one that really got me:
 
This is something I’ve thought about a lot, and it explains a great deal about the character of girls by and large today. If they have nothing to offer but sex, they’ll become obsessed with the value of that sex and impressing it on you. (This is also why ladies of late so frequently resort to “You can’t get laid”/”You’re just not ‘getting any’” as the go-to insult in any argument.) Few women offer an engaging friendship; fewer still a spiritually satisfying companionship (in fact I can think of none, at least in my few years on Earth.) Charges that game is dehumanizing just totally crack me up: I mean, what else am I supposed to judge these women on? They don’t give a crap about anything besides what’s between their legs, so why should I?
 
It seems that I have more motivation each day to avoid relationships. This, undoubtedly, has become fuel. While I have never been overtly sexual, and while I am more intelligent than quite a few people I know, this changing landscape in my mind is becoming more and more anti-traditional. I'm less and less interested in a relationship, and more and more focused on my goals and dreams, none of which require a man by my side.
 
Going to India.
Becoming a nurse practitioner.
Visiting Memphis.
Getting promoted.
Taking care of my clinic and my Soldiers.
Giving more attention to my Faith, and less to people who take away from it.
Buying that Dodge Challenger that I'm dreaming of, and learning to drive a stick shift more effectively before then....
 
 
Not in that order, of course, but, these are things that I want to do, and see and be.... And a relationship just detracts from all of that, gets in the way of everything I want to do, or, at the very least, makes these things more difficult to attain.