What This Means

I've decided the new boy's nickname is honor.

I suppose this stands out a bit from the nicknames I've used for others in my writing- Rock Star, Bear, Lady DJ, and I'm sure there were others.

Have you ever heard the phrase "No honor among thieves"?

The male species has, as of late, become, to me, a negative idea. Maybe it wasn't just recently that this happened, but it certainly has been highlighted in more recent days.

After seeing doors opened, a night full of stories both happy and sad listened to, meals paid for, efforts made to show me that I am certainly the only one he's interested in... I just can't help but see this not-quite-twenty-three year old as my bit of honor among the thieves. He may very well hurt me someday, it certainly is a possibility, but he is the sweet, good boy, the one I usually distance myself from for fear of corrupting or damaging. He is not what I would have expected, though I suppose it's still quite early.

I am well aware that the chances of this relationship surviving my impending PCS are slim, at best, but I want to try. I have decided that I am giving this my all, and I will do what I'm able to make this happen to the best of my ability. Our values and beliefs line up so well, I simply can't blow this off as a coincidence, not after all the lies and pain. I will hold my tongue/temper when I should/need to, and I will find the patience within myself. Worst case scenario is that this doesn't work out, and I have learned from it.

I will be on leave in July, traveling Memphis solo. I am looking forward to this experience, and think that time will give me the chance to understand what strength there may be in separation, and to see how I handle a foreign environment when my heart is ocupado. If we survive this, as a couple, imagine how much stronger we'll be! It's a lot of hoping and wondering, and I know it's a risk, but I think it's a worthwhile risk.