Absolute Confusion

It hurts to have Danger gone.
I'm grateful to have Bright Eyes in my life.
I'm glad to be back near Tumbleweed, but am more and more concerned I don't have the patience I once thought I did.
I'll leave for the East Coast Sunday (the day after tomorrow) and be there until Friday, though I have yet to get a date on the funeral. I need to be near people that are going through what I'm going through, and that's about all that makes sense to me at this point.
My energy is shot, and I end up in tears every couple hours, it seems. Frustration is a sure path to a class three leak.
I feel empty, sad and angry. Then I feel fine. Rinse and repeat.

I'm wanting to focus on Bright Eyes, but I feel guilty doing so.
I try to pray, and it hurts.
I have to bite my temper when I talk to anyone but Bright Eyes, because, well, nobody else really seems to understand what I'm dealing with. Bright Eyes knew Danger, and has known me since High School, and was heavily involved in my life when Danger passed.
Tumbleweed is trying, but I'm more and more frustrated with him. Interactions with him seem to leave me either weeping or frustrated today, and I don't want that. I'm trying not to be too self-indulgent in these feelings, but I also don't want to end up damaging my relationships with my family, either.

I don't know where the line between right and wrong is when I feel like this.