Sweet

Danger repeatedly told me I was the sweetest girl he'd ever met.
I guess I never fully understood it, but I'm learning, and learning to embrace it.
It's so odd when you see so many threads of your own life come together, and realize what a beautiful pattern they make, isn't it?

Bright Eyes has known Danger since he (Bright Eyes) was 15 years old. I wouldn't meet Danger for several more years, but we became pretty good friends pretty quickly when we did. Right now, I feel totally blessed to be able to say I was loved by him. Seeing all the people he touched blows me away, and makes me realize just how fortunate I was to be so close to him.

Bright Eyes and I went from just friends and former high school sweethearts to something more a couple days before Danger passed away. We both heard a lot more from him in those last couple days, as well. I'll avoid pointing out the guilt-factor questions that come along with that.

I will be heading up to the area tomorrow, as it is the wee hours of Saturday now. I will be staying with Bright Eyes.

I realized tonight, without a doubt, that I am falling in love with Bright Eyes. We were getting quite attached and close to one another before, and there is an undeniable spark between us that has never faded, but this all has made me realize that, even through the most trying times, we make a formidable team. We balance one another so perfectly. I have never felt like I didn't need to make myself known in someone's life before. I don't need him to call me his girlfriend, I don't need anything changed on his facebook, I don't need to know who he's hanging out with. I trust him fully, and have no doubt in my mind that he feels everything I do.

What's more, he makes me want to be that sweet girl Danger used to tell me I was. I'm not scared of loving this man. I want to love him. I want to be his dream come true, to take care of him any way I can, and to trust him to take care of me. I want whatever this life holds, whether there be more children involved or not, whether I stay in the Army for 20 years or get out early, even if it meant moving back to Underland. I surely do not miss that place- it's held so much pain for me. I could be happy there, though, should that be where this path leads.

It's not that I'm abandoning my own dreams- I'm still determined to become a nurse- it's simply that things become a bit more flexible when you see what really matters. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, no?

I lie here, a little astonished at all that has sunk in through these last few hours- I suppose it did take a bit of quiet time for it all to process after all- and find my peace. The morning will come soon enough, no doubt, and I have enough to accomplish in the next 24 hours that sleep will be essential.

I'll see you soon, Bright Eyes, and we can start our journey, and say our goodbyes to Danger, together.

"She's sweet like a hand full of aces." -Trace Adkins