You know, the part of the plot after that post-obstacle twist that just makes things go from 'Okay, I can handle this...' to 'I quit'.
...And right after that, things change course completely.
The heroine realizes that it wasn't that things were going wrong, it's that she was walking in the wrong direction the whole time.
I still want Flight Medic, but it's not really going to do much for my life. It might make me look good, might help me get promoted and might be a whole lot of fun, but... what about afterwards?
I'm all for enjoying things, but, really, that's a lot of work for something that, well, isn't going to do that much work for me.
When I get to Bliss, I'm going to start school. I need 60 credit hours, I'm told, before I can apply for the Green-to-Gold program and go to school. I want to go to NMSU for nursing, like my Daddy. A friend of mine suggested going PA, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I like the idea of nursing, personally, though I'm not 100% sure why, other than that it's what my Dad does.
The Baha'i faith just continually becomes more intertwined in every part of my life and everything I want to accomplish. I have no doubts at all about this being the right faith for me, and I really wish I knew how to share it more with the people I care about without just shoving their faces in it. It blows me away what a difference this has made for me. I have this worldwide connection to people, I have a greater understanding of everything, and I didn't have to compromise my inherent right to question things for myself or do things my way. I don't doubt there's more conservative Baha'i communities than what I've been exposed to, but, honestly, it's all exactly what I believe in. I feel like a radical conservative... I love the idea of waiting til marriage for sex, I love the idea of being absorbed in this all-encompassing faith, of praying frequently, of meditating, fasting and doing all these traditional things- but I don't believe in doing it quietly. I don't believe in hiding my faith, or keeping it quiet, or even keeping quiet myself. I wear ignorantly bright colors half the time, I have a ton of tattoos, I'm in the Army, I'm ridiculously forward with my thoughts, but I still do everything I'm capable of to maintain the tenets of my faith- and I'm not doing anything wrong by being so "out there" with who I am.
I feel like this is really my time.
Things have been getting rough lately, but I've kept my head above water. I'm getting to the point where I can let things go and not get upset that I can't juggle it all and do everything being asked of me. I'm finally taking care of MYSELF. I love this. It's not all that easy all the time, but so much better than I was, so much farther than I could have dreamt I'd be right now.
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